Life is a gift Celebrate it...

Today before you think of saying an unkind word
Think of someone who can't speak

Before you complain about the taste of your food
Think of someone who has nothing to eat

Before you complain about your husband or wife
Think of someone who's crying out to God for a companion

Today before you complain about life
Think of someone who went too early to heaven

Before you complain about your children
Think of someone who desires children but they're barren

Before you argue about your dirty house; someone didn't clean or sweep
Think of the people who are living in the streets

Before whining about the distance you drive
Think of someone who walks the same distance with their feet

And when you are tired and complain about your job
Think of the unemployed, the disabled and those who wished they had your job

But before you think of pointing the finger or condemning another
Remember that not one of us are without sin and we all answer to one maker

And when depressing thoughts seem to get you down
Put a smile on your face and thank God you're alive and still around

Life is a gift

Live it...

Enjoy it...

Celebrate it...

And fulfill it

Just Laugh it off!

Man comes home, finds his wife with his friend in bed.

He shoots his friend to death.

Wife says "If you continue to behave like this, you will lose ALL your friends".

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Small Boy wrote to Father Christmas," send me a brother"

Father Christmas wrote back," SEND ME YOUR MOTHER"

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What is the definition of Mistress?

Someone between the Mister and Mattress

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Husband asks, "Do u know the meaning of WIFE??

"Without Information, Fighting every time"

Wife replies," No, It means,

"With Idiot For Ever!!!"

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Three Feelings:

What's the difference between stress, tension and panic?

Stress is when wife is pregnant,

Tension is when girlfriend is pregnant and

Panic is when both are pregnant.

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Teacher: Do you know the importance of period?

Kid: Yes, once my sister said she has missed one, my mom fainted, dad got

Heart attack & our driver ran away.

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Some women asked a man who was travelling with six children, are all these kids yours??

Man replies; No, I work in a condom factory & these are customer complaints.

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Two men met while both where looking for their lost wives.

1st: What does yours look like?

2nd: She is 5"7, 36-24-36, Fair, Black eyes. What about yours?

1st: Forget mine. Let's find yours!!

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A Son asks the difference between confidence and confidential.

Dad says, you are my son, I'm confident. Your friend is also my son, that's

Confidential!

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Mother to her teenage daughter: I think this is the right time we should

Talk about sex.

Daughter (Excitingly): Sure mom! Tell me, what you want to know.

Mother Faints...

Modern Day Wife

These are the type of women we should be marrying... .Modern women - so says the men? It is a myth that when a son gets married and a new daughter-in-law arrives in the family, everything changes. Some daughters-in-law are well trained and well mannered.... They don't come to change the family, they are here to... (READ ON!) The new wife was being welcomed at the Husband's home in a traditional manner. As expected she gave a speech; "My dear family, I thank you for welcoming me in my new home and family, firstly, my being here does not mean that I would want to change your way of life, your routine ."No, I will never do that, never in a million years." "What do you mean my child?" asked the father-in-law. "What I mean dad is (looking at her in-laws); Those who used to wash the dishes must carry on washing them. Those who used to do the laundry must carry on doing it. Those who cooked should not stop at my account, AND Those who used to clean should continue cleaning!!! "And what are you here for?" enquired the mother-in-law. "AS FOR ME, I'M HERE JUST TO ENTERTAIN YOUR SON! COMMON HONEY LETS GROOVE!!"