COMPLETE & FINISH

"People say there is no difference between COMPLETE & FINISH" ... But there is. When u marry the right one you are COMPLETE ....and when u marry the wrong one you are FINISHED.....And when the right one catches u with the wrong one you are COMPLETELY FINISHED" once said by a friend of mine.

There is nothing called happily married, is either you are MARRIED AND HAPPY, or MARRIED AND SAD, or thinking of either suicide or murder

In courtship everything is regarded as provisional and preliminary, and the smallest sample of virtue or accomplishment is taken to guarantee delightful stores which the broad leisure of marriage will reveal.
Rude awaking when at breakfast table you suddenly realise
I can’t stand that baldie sitting across the table never thought he would lose his hair,
I hate the noise coming from her chewing of the bone that should have been relegated to the Bin liner,
He snore nor she snore
i hate that, heavy gallop when she swallow her FuFu ball,
He or she has become an impediment in my life. or she has become criminally obese
Get over it people it’s our choice either you live with it and be condemned to everlasting unhappiness or bolt out of the door whichever way you are COMPLETELY FINISHED"

Thinking about it we are all set up from the start with this marriage shit, In most cases we find ourselves with self denials thinking everything will be alright when he or she moved in, but to find out it’s a case of MAN THAT HAD 7 CHILDREN BY SEVEN DIFFERENT WOMEN AND THEY ALL DIE AT CHILD BIRTH, COMMON THE GUY IS A TOUCH OF DEATH

A wise man with his own interpretation of the subject saying you made a very, very valid point regarding some couples staring at their marriage cert as if it has expiry date.
As I am typing this, my mind is on a friend who is like that. He always runs to me each time he wants to escape his wife. His attitude is just like you painted it.
Yet, I have lost count of people who simply hope and pray for their partners' demise because the home is too hot.
Now, let's get talking. How did the once upon a time rosy courtship become a sour grape? How did many couples landed in despair after enjoying years of courtship and one of the best honeymoon? How did they get into trouble?
Someone mentioned tolerance. I am tempted to agree but I won’t. This is because it is tolerance that made many sad couples endure years of marital disharmony. It is tolerance that killed their dreams of happy life!
Tolerance, can be classified into two:
1. Endurance...often negative. It involves one or both of the couples enduring the other, with the view that one day the problem may disappear. They are often unhappy about it. But the endure it. And once a while has to exchange blows and verbally assault to regain sanity.
2. Acceptance...often positive. Is when one or both party has agreed to live with other without complaining? He or she may not like it, but the spirit of togetherness and tolerance bind them together. It may be a cheating husband, being tolerated by the faithful wife, an over-sized wife, who spends all day fanning her fatty body and nagging at everyone being tolerated by a patience husband... I can go on and on.
Tolerance works only when there is a binding factor. When there is something that glues the couples for beta for worse. It may be wealth, children, religion, family and it maybe because the victim is too ugly or unlucky to find alternative.
However, it is often understood that our generation is lacking a basic knowledge of marital management. In fact, I suggest that a course be introduced for intending couples. This will save us a lot in term of money and social values.
The average youth marriage philosophy goes thus: Boy meets girl, they fall in love, fall in bed, get married, have kids and live happily there after!
We all know that it is not as simple as that. It is when they have kids that they begin to understand that marriage is not all about love, sex, and kids!

So what is the way out?
Some people put up and shut up and give their life into a miserable future in a marriage. This is not healthy for all who are connected with the marriage be it the couple, children and the external family. The ultimate problem lays in the couple who stick it out for all those years for the sake of the kids, money, time invested in each other, social, religious or family commitments, status or whatever their reason may be to hold that marriage together ignoring their own feelings for the external feelings and commitments. Then comes a time that we get all the freedom and the money we want to live comfortable but your heart is not comfortable because the dreams, goals and senses are lost and there is no vision for tomorrow.

Inspired by Gbemisola Adesida

Life is a gift Celebrate it...

Today before you think of saying an unkind word
Think of someone who can't speak

Before you complain about the taste of your food
Think of someone who has nothing to eat

Before you complain about your husband or wife
Think of someone who's crying out to God for a companion

Today before you complain about life
Think of someone who went too early to heaven

Before you complain about your children
Think of someone who desires children but they're barren

Before you argue about your dirty house; someone didn't clean or sweep
Think of the people who are living in the streets

Before whining about the distance you drive
Think of someone who walks the same distance with their feet

And when you are tired and complain about your job
Think of the unemployed, the disabled and those who wished they had your job

But before you think of pointing the finger or condemning another
Remember that not one of us are without sin and we all answer to one maker

And when depressing thoughts seem to get you down
Put a smile on your face and thank God you're alive and still around

Life is a gift

Live it...

Enjoy it...

Celebrate it...

And fulfill it

Just Laugh it off!

Man comes home, finds his wife with his friend in bed.

He shoots his friend to death.

Wife says "If you continue to behave like this, you will lose ALL your friends".

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Small Boy wrote to Father Christmas," send me a brother"

Father Christmas wrote back," SEND ME YOUR MOTHER"

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What is the definition of Mistress?

Someone between the Mister and Mattress

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Husband asks, "Do u know the meaning of WIFE??

"Without Information, Fighting every time"

Wife replies," No, It means,

"With Idiot For Ever!!!"

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Three Feelings:

What's the difference between stress, tension and panic?

Stress is when wife is pregnant,

Tension is when girlfriend is pregnant and

Panic is when both are pregnant.

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Teacher: Do you know the importance of period?

Kid: Yes, once my sister said she has missed one, my mom fainted, dad got

Heart attack & our driver ran away.

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Some women asked a man who was travelling with six children, are all these kids yours??

Man replies; No, I work in a condom factory & these are customer complaints.

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Two men met while both where looking for their lost wives.

1st: What does yours look like?

2nd: She is 5"7, 36-24-36, Fair, Black eyes. What about yours?

1st: Forget mine. Let's find yours!!

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A Son asks the difference between confidence and confidential.

Dad says, you are my son, I'm confident. Your friend is also my son, that's

Confidential!

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Mother to her teenage daughter: I think this is the right time we should

Talk about sex.

Daughter (Excitingly): Sure mom! Tell me, what you want to know.

Mother Faints...

Modern Day Wife

These are the type of women we should be marrying... .Modern women - so says the men? It is a myth that when a son gets married and a new daughter-in-law arrives in the family, everything changes. Some daughters-in-law are well trained and well mannered.... They don't come to change the family, they are here to... (READ ON!) The new wife was being welcomed at the Husband's home in a traditional manner. As expected she gave a speech; "My dear family, I thank you for welcoming me in my new home and family, firstly, my being here does not mean that I would want to change your way of life, your routine ."No, I will never do that, never in a million years." "What do you mean my child?" asked the father-in-law. "What I mean dad is (looking at her in-laws); Those who used to wash the dishes must carry on washing them. Those who used to do the laundry must carry on doing it. Those who cooked should not stop at my account, AND Those who used to clean should continue cleaning!!! "And what are you here for?" enquired the mother-in-law. "AS FOR ME, I'M HERE JUST TO ENTERTAIN YOUR SON! COMMON HONEY LETS GROOVE!!"

What is the name of your Church

Change

Don't be absolute about yourself being so clever, beautiful and powerful, l when you might simply be surrounded by stupid, ugly and weak people.
But be absolute about yourself being so lucky and blessed, because you are surrounded by life to fill your days with, people to cast love upon, dreams to bear hope for and miracles to give your name to.

When people walk away from you, let them go. Your destiny is never tied to anyone who leaves you, and it doesn't mean they are bad people. It just means that their part in your story is over

Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new."

When we are confronted with unpleasant feelings and the necessity to change, we may fall back on our deepest instinct – we fight. Whether the problem is to move on after a relationship ends, we cannot change as long as we struggle.

Change is frightening. The past may have been miserable, but at least it was familiar. We become comfortable with old habits and thought patterns which keep us from growing. Our negative thoughts can snowball and, at times consume us.
Negative thinking separates us from a sense of belonging, suffocates our hope and prevents us from gaining true happiness. Negativity has been a part of our lives for so many years; we need a great deal of practice to develop positive views.

If we pause in the midst of our struggles and worries, we can give ourselves time to let a new realisation sink in; we don’t have to fight anymore. We have another choice: we can surrender. Rather than manipulating situations, we can surrender control. Surrender is essentially an act of trust. When we let go, we can trust events to unfold on their own. Trust gives us a sense of acceptance, and through acceptance we find serenity.
Paradoxically, surrender is not the same as giving up. Surrender means exchanging “me” for “we”; letting go.

It's the worst feeling in the world to love & hate someone all at the same time. And it's hard to watch things change when all you want is for them to stay the same. It's funny
but stupid how you want everything & nothing at the same time. It's crazy when you want to let go, but you keep holding on, & when you want to move on but you're stuck right where you started.
When feelings come and go & you can't decide what you want. When you have so many things to say but you don't know where to start. When you want them in your life so bad, but all you can do is push them farther & farther away. It's so hard to think
back to how things used to be & look at it now and realize that things are different & they may never be the same.
You tell yourself it's not worth it, but if it really didn't matter, you wouldn't spend so much time thinking about it.
Funny how just when you think life can't possibly get any worse it suddenly does.
But when u say life can't get any better it doesn't

So God agreed

On the first day God created the dog. God said, "Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. I will give you a life span of twenty years." The dog said, "That's too long to be barking. Give me ten years and I'll give you back the other ten." 
So God agreed. 

On the second day God created the monkey. God said, "Entertain people, do monkey tricks and make them laugh. I'll give you a twenty-year life span." The monkey said, "Monkey tricks for twenty years? I don't think so. Dog gave you back ten, so that's what I'll do too, okay?"
And God agreed. 

On the third day God created the cow. "You must go to the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves, and give milk to support the farmer. I will give you a life span of sixty years."
The cow said, "That's kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty years. Let me have twenty and I'll give back the other forty." 
And God agreed again. 

On the fourth day God created man. God said, "Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. I'll give you twenty years."
Man said, "What? Only twenty years? Tell you what, I'll take my twenty, and the forty the cow gave back, and the ten the monkey gave back, and the ten the dog gave back, that makes eighty, okay?" 

Okay," said God, "You've got a deal." 

So that is why the first twenty years we eat, sleep, play, and enjoy ourselves; the next forty years we slave in the sun to support our family; the next ten years we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren; and the last ten years we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone. 

Life has now been explained to you. 

"Eleven Hints for Life"

1. It hurts to love someone and not be loved in return.
But what is more painful is to love someone and never
find the courage to let that person know how you feel.

2. A sad thing in life is when you meet someone who
means a lot to you, only to find out in the end that it was
never meant to be and you just have to let go.

3. The best kind of friend is the kind you can sit on a
porch swing with, never say a word, and then walk away
feeling like it was the best conversation you've ever had.

4. It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose
it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been
missing until it arrives.

5. It takes only a minute to get a crush on someone, an
hour to like someone, and a day to love someone-but it
takes a lifetime to forget someone.

6. Don't go for looks, they can deceive. Don't go for wealth,
even that fades away. Go for someone who makes you
smile because it takes only a smile to make a dark day
seem bright.

7. Dream what you want to dream, go where you want to go,
be what you want to be. Because you have only one life and
one chance to do all the things you want to do.

8. Always put yourself in the other's shoes. If you feel that it
hurts you, it probably hurts the person too.

9. A careless word may kindle strife. A cruel word may wreck
a life. A timely word may level stress. But a loving word may
heal and bless.

10. The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best
of everything they just make the most of everything that comes
along their way.

11. Love begins with a smile, grows with a kiss, ends with
a tear. When you were born, you were crying and everyone
around you was smiling. Live your life so that when you die,
you're the one smiling and everyone around you is crying. 

OBJ Saying

Life is all about timing..

The unreachable becomes reachable,

The unavailable become available,

The unattainable... attainable.

Have the patience, wait it out It's all about timing.

A single lie destroys a whole reputation for integrity

.

Ishola Oyenusi Execution ( Baddie)

HOW TO SAFE YOUR JOB

Freeway

Marriage Vows

During the wedding rehearsal, the groom approached the pastor with an unusual offer. "Look, I'll give you $100 if you'll change the wedding vows a little. When you get to me, and the part where I'm to promise to, 'Love, honor and obey' and 'forsaking all others be faithful to her forever', I'd appreciate it if you'd just leave that part out." He passed the minister a $100 bill and walked away satisfied.

It is now the day of the wedding, and the bride and groom have moved to that part of the ceremony where the vows are exchanged. When it comes time for the groom's vows, the pastor looks the young man in the eye and says: "Will you promise to prostrate yourself before her, obey her every command and wish, serve her breakfast in bed every morning of your life and swear eternally before God and your lovely wife that you will not ever even look at another woman, as long as you both shall live?"

The groom gulped and looked around, and said in a tiny voice, "Yes." The groom then leaned toward the pastor and hissed, "I thought we had a deal?"

The pastor handed back the $100 bill and whispered...

"She made me a much better offer."

RECHARGE YOUR SPIRITUAL CONNECTION

Sometimes it seems magnetic - the strong pull inward that causes a person to search deeply for the truth of their existence, to find meaning in life and seek to understand their purpose. It doesn’t let go. We can be distracted from it, but the core of our being is always there – urging us to stop focusing so much on external stimuli and turn the attention to the phenomenal world inside.

It takes dedication to tune out the noise of the ego, the demands of society and the taunting of the mind’s insecurities; to recharge our spiritual connection.

It is utterly impossible to be unhappy when you are fully aware of your direct link to All That Is.
When you know that regardless of how bad things seem in the moment, you are governed by a Protector who will guide you to safety, there is nothing to fear.

When you are able to keep pushing yourself forward with prayers on your lips and meditations in your spirit, how could you ever indefinitely fail?

Failure is not in the character of the blessed.
The Most High - not hateful and ready to strike you down with wrath, but loving and ready to show you the way back to your greatness.

Know from where you come and to where you are returning, and experience your happiness.

Perfume of Heart

"Love is friendship set on fire."

Never allow your partner or yourself to denigrate the other. You must have personal respect and consideration for yourself. Everyone deserves respect and love.
But you can't expect to get it unless you give it.
If you allow your partner to disparage you, expect to hear other damaging words.
Whatever you are willing to accept is exactly what you're going to get.
Be compassionate, understanding, forgiving and merciful.
Patience, kindness, consideration and thoughtfulness can never be in short demand.
Don’t take anything for granted, the most precious thing in life are the smallest thing we oversee on daily basis and can be taken at any moment

HARRY HIPPIE

Everybody claims that they want the best things

Out of life, but not everyone, 

Want to got through the toils and strife`s.

 

Like this particular fella, walks around

all day long singin' this song

sha na lah dah dah lah dah

 

Harry Hippie, lies asleep in the shade,

life don't bug him cause he

thinks he's got it made.

He never worry about nothinG' in particular

Oooh he might even sell free press on Sunset.

 

I'd like to help a man when he's down

but I can't help him much

when he's sleeping' on the ground.

 

He's like a bottle in water

Harry just floats through life

Walks around all day long singin' this song

Whoa, whoa, whoa, ohhh yeah

 

Mary Hippie, she's Harry's lady

Panhandles money just to feed Harry's baby.

She can lie down a story so incredible

Man, you want TO help her take the food

home and put it on the table.

 

I'd like to help a man when he's down,

but I can't help ya Harry

if you want TO sleep on the ground.

Sorry Harry, you're too much weight

to carry around.

 

But he still walks around all day singinG' this song

Sha dah dah dah sha

Street child, street child, tell me where

will you be goinG'

when old man winter gets his horn

and starts blowinG'

Will you hang around LA

or hitch a ride on a freeway

Meet an old familiar face in a new place.

 

I'd like to help a man when he's down

But how can I help him

if he's somewhere out OF town

Sorry Harry, think I'm gonna put you down.

Sha dah dah

(J. Ford)

Bobby Womack

LOVE (1 Corinthians)

I may be able to speak the languages of men and even of angels, but if I have no love, my speech is no more than a noisy gong or a clanging bell.
I may have the gift of inspired preaching,
I may have the gift of knowledge and understand all secrets;
I may have all the faith needed to move mountains
but if I have no love, this does me no good.

Love is patient and kind it is not jealous or conceited or proud.
Love is not ill mannered or selfish or irritable.
Love does not keep a record of wrongs.
Love is not happy with evil, but is happy with the truth.
Love never gives up and its faith, hope, and patience never fail.
Love is eternal.

There are inspired messages, but they are temporary there are gifts of speaking in strange tongues but they will ceases there is knowledge but it will pass.
For our gifts of knowledge and of inspired messages are only partial but when what is perfect comes, then what is partial will disappear.
When I was a child, my speech, feelings and thinking were all those of a child now that I am a man, I have no more use for childish ways.
What we see now is like a dim image in a mirror then we shall see face to face.
What I know now is only partial then it will be complete as complete as God`s knowledge of me.
Meanwhile these three remain:
Faith, Hope and Love.
The greatest of these is love

Human TeaBags

(African Woman Sets Herself on Fire) MY THOUGHT

Thanks for sharing this image, its Sad but We blame foreigners, church, even everyday people!!!! But ourselves.

WHAT ABOUT OUR SO CALLED AFRICAN GOVERNMENT or Leaders? Do we have to continue to enslave ourselves while some selfish few live in luxury?
Come on You, You, and ME too, knows somebody in power messing up other people`s life but we turn a blind eye because of what we might gain from them aka contract, sponsorship, political appointments.
I have seen many men and women folk too of principle here in UK on arrival in Nigeria lost their moral and sanity for a fistful of Naira.

I can remember a once good friend that study political science nursing a political ambition, that if and when ever he decided to contest for any post in Nigeria, I will personally take up an advert in the national newspaper from my own very purse telling people not to VOTE the bastard because he is my friend i know him a lot and I can’t trust him to share a burger with my little boy without him ripping the poor lad up.

If all is well in your house everybody out there will respect you, how can people in a better society respect us when all they hear about us is corruption, inhuman treatment among us even in work place.

On one of my trip to Lagos, I visited my lawyer that works at the office of commissioner of police in Ikeja and just along the corridor upstairs there was this stench like human decay, and i thought peewee what was that!!. On my right hand I heard noises coming through the whole in the wall and what I saw will hunt me for the rest of my live, just a size of a room 12"x14" was at least 180 men with no clothes on and no roof in that court yard in the blazing sun of Lagos 32 degrees, and i will like to believe that this has been the case for years, how do you justify that. It’s sickening and i am thankful to God that i made my son sat with the driver in the café downstairs or how do i rationalize that to him? The thought of that site still made me physically shaken. Black on Blacks, modern day en-slavery?

Killing each other all in the name of economic hardship? How do we justify that?
Mr Kunle must be seen intimidating Mr & Mrs Omoyo to proof his arrived aka big man!
One of my Manager (a Caucasians) that grew up in a black neighbourhood once said, if you go to a sport shop and everybody buy a pair of white Nike shoes for £50 a pair, Some of us black people will come in and buy a pair of GOLD coloured GOLA trainers for £150, with matching Gold tooth, just to proof a point, we are rich but not wealthy!!

Our leader live in Marble house with a tiled drive way but outside their gate is squalor, muddy water, rubbish dump and some even build their houses in the drainage part just to live in highly sorted areas.

But stupidly we love to kill the messenger and not the master that sent him, I am a proud Ijebu Man before being a Yoruba and a Nigerian, you must be wandering why? Because that is where my heart is, and Nigeria in Africa home world is all I’ve got

I have heard some fools that said THEY HATE THE GOING BACK HOME IDEA TO CONTRIBUTE ANYTHING TO THE DEVELOPMENT, but in another tone will PREFER IN THEIR DEATH TO BE SHIPPED AND BURIED BACK HOME. Laughable? Home world is only good enough for your carcass.

Brother please Let take care of our back yard before we start fighting a foreign war, the first thing the white folk will always say is go back to JUNGLE Africa, we all know it’s not the monkey hopping jungle they are talking about because, Africa Home world is as developed as most places in western Europe, But economic wise it is a jungle.
If this touches some raw nerve? That is what it was intended

African Woman Sets Herself on Fire To Protest Racism

 
Sad stuff...



The horrifying sight which traumatized shoppers and office workers in the centre of Luxembourg City last week has now been labeled as a protest against racism. The Belgian woman of Congolese origin who set herself alight in the middle of Place d'Armes told witnesses that she was! doing it to protest against racism, moments before she carried out th e desperate act which has left her in hospital fighting for her life.

Maggy Delvaux-Mufu, a mother of three in her forties, alerted several national newspapers late on Tuesday morning last week that she would be burning herself alive on place des Martyrs at 12.45 am, before setting out accompanied by her husband to walk through the centre of town to her macabre rendezvous. The police were alerted and officers were deployed to the Rousegärtchen.

But the woman changed her plan when she came across a group of journalists gathered to cover an event organized by the 'Movement écologique' on Place d'Armes, opposite the Cercle municipal. She soaked herself in petrol before confronting the members of the press, announcing that she was about to sacrifice her life to protest against racism. Moments later, she struck a match, turning herself into a human torch in front of hundreds of people.
Delvaux-Mufu' s husband and passers-by jumped on the burning body, attempting to stifle the flames with coats and jackets. The sce! ne made several people feel unwell and many witnesses who filled the square at lunchtime were traumatized by the woman's shrieking screams of unimaginable pain. The flames were already extinguished when police, rescue services and the fire brigade arrived at the scene. One person is reported to have vomited after seeing the woman being transported into an ambulance. The events in Place d'Armes have also started a controversy regarding the authorities' lack of psychological support for witnesses.

Delvaux-Mufu was taken to the Bon Secours hospital in Metz, where she is being treated in a specialized ward for burns and is fighting for her life. Grand Duchess Maria Teresa visited the woman and her family at the hospital last week.

RTL television was the first to run a news flash about the incident on its website on Tuesday afternoon last week. 352 reported the bulletin in its news in brief section, shortly before going to print. Events preceding the incident only came to light later on in the week.


The 42-year-old Belgian citizen and her husband had been facing financial difficulties. They had recently indebted themselves by buying a Citroën garage in Oberwampach, before realizing they were missing the documents that would allow them to set up a business. Delvaux-Mufu wrote a letter to Le Jeudi recounting her story of bureaucratic difficulties and economic despair. "I'm against all forms of violence, but day after day, my family and I have to endure moral violence, discrimination, insults and much more from Mr Juncker's administration" , she said in the letter published last week.

Money problems had driven the woman to desperately plead her case at the Prime minister's office early on the same day of the incident. Her threat to burn herself alive on Place des Martyrs after being turned away by the authorities caused government officials to contact the police. A city-wide search was organized, but nobody could foresee the woman would change her plans."

I Wish He Didn't Trust Me So Much "

I'm the best friend he's got
I'd give him the shirt off my back
He knows he can trust me with his life
But he? Leaves me alone, leaves me alone with his with his wife
I wish he didn't trust me so much
I think he really trusts me too much..

How can he be so blind
We've both got the same good taste
He should know when he's gone on business trips
I can’t help watchin' his woman
Cause I'm losin' my grip
I wish he didn't trust me so much
I think he really trusts me too much..

Though I swear, all not my will
But there's a way, There's a way she makes me feel
But I'm scared, so scared of what I do
If she starts feeling the same way too..
You shouldn't trust me so much
We got a problem
I thing you really trust me too much

It's not that she leads me on
I'm getting there all by myself
But just being with her all, all alone
I can't help but hopin' that he never comes home
I wish he didn't trust me so much
I think you really trust me too much
I wish he didn't trust me so much

We got a problem
I think you really trust me too much
Though I swear all not my will (it's not my will)
But There's a way, There's a way she makes me feel
Lord I'm so scared, scared of what I do
If she starts feeling the same way too..
I wish he didn't trust me so much ooooo
I think he really trusts me too much..

I got a problem
You can see, (I wish he didn't trust me so much )
I'm caught up. ....caught up in the middle
(I think he really trusts me too much)
And I'm tired tired of playing fiddle ooooo


Bobby Womack Lyrics

IMPORTANCE OF A WIFE

CASE # 1

Interviewer to Millionaire:To whom do you owe your success as a millionaire?
Millionaire : I owe everything to my wife.
Interviewer: Wow, she must be some woman.
What were you before you married her?
Millionaire: A billionaire.

CASE # 2

Wife: Why do you always carry my photo in your wallet?
Husband: When there is a problem, no matter how big,
I look at your photo and the problem disappears.
Wife: You see how miraculous and powerful I am for you?
Husband : Yes, I see your picture and say to myself,
"What other problem can be greater than this one?"

CASE # 3

Q - What is the difference between a mother and a wife?
A - One woman brings you into this world crying....

......the other ensures you continue to do so.

CASE # 4

Wife : Do you want dinner?
Husband : Sure, what are my choices?
Wife : Yes and No.

CASE # 5

Wife: Honey..... What are you looking for?
Husband : Nothing.
Wife: Nothing...?? You have been reading our marriage
certificate for an hour !!

Husband: I was just looking for the expiry date.

Wife: I wish I was a newspaper so i would be in your hands all day

Husband: I too wish you are a Newspaper so i can have one everyday!

 

Motherfucking pastor

I don’t understand what is going on in the Church now.....I go to church in the zanger, so the pastor was preaching and so on...When it was time for thank-giving .......a white man stud up and said..... Who is the motherfucking pastor in this motherfucking church... everyone was surprise in that kind of words the pastor was about to challenge the white man.... then the white man said I thought there is any motherfucking pastor in this motherfucking church .....I want to drop some motherfucking thousands of Dollars to this motherfucking church...... then everybody including the pastor was shouting...... I am the real motherfucking pastor in the great motherfucking church

HOPE

Hope is the international language behind all courses of positive action. In keeping hope alive, we move towards the greater humanity within ourselves, and in so doing, help to make a difference in the lives of others. Apathy is damned!
Time is of essence. Love often times seems rare for the ones that take time to care. You get in where you fit in, but are this where you really want to be? Be true to self and keep your esteem on
high, it has been known to be the best alibi.

Never

Never argue with an idiot, because they will simply drag you down to their level and beat you with their idiotic experience

My Sisters

I Love my Sisters.
It was nice to growing up with you girls.
Someone to Lean on.
Someone to count on.
Someone to Tell on
Someone to be mad at.
Nature couldn't have given me better bodyguards

Can't Get No Satisfaction .........

Why do we tend to place our dissatisfaction in people solely upon their shoulders? In a relationship, is it truly our partner's responsibility to meet our needs?

Choosing to form a romantic bond with someone does not automatically dictate that one person must yield to the needs of another nor does it mean that someone must "change" in order to be an ideal mate.

In many cases when we are dissatisfied in our relationship/partner we should own our discontent as our own hang ups rather than that person not being good enough for us.

Why would we desire a genetic clone that walk, talks, and thinks as we do. When that is the case we do not want a person to love. We want a puppet to control.

We have to give people the freedom to be themselves and love them just the same.

A wise man once told me that just because someone does not love you the way you want to be loved does not mean that they do not love you the best way they know how.

Believe in your inner being.

Believe in yourself!!
You are God`s best.
Never drive yourself down with negative thoughts.
Does it matter what others neither call nor claim your person might be?
What ever you are is your definition of whom you are.
God has pre-defined your purpose in life.
This is what you will always be!!
Healthy, victorious, intelligent and influential.
If that is what he had for you then?
Be gratified and Thank lord for his mercies.
And be proud to say I believe in what and how you made me.

Inspiration from: Blessing Izedomwen

Reasons

I believe that everything happens for a reason. 
People change so that you can learn to let go.
Things go wrong so that you can appreciate them when they are right.
You believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself.
Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can Fall in

Move On

YOU CAN SPEND MINUTES, HOURS, DAYS, WEEKS OR EVEN MONTHS OVER-ANALYZING A SITUATION;
TRYING TO PUT THE PIECES TOGETHER, JUSTIFYING WHAT COULD HAVE HAPPEN..
.....OR YOU CAN JUST LEAVE THE PIECES ON THE FLOOR AND
                                     MOVE THE FUCK ON !!!!!!

Three Angels

Black Jesus

NATURAL HIGHS

1. Being in love.

2. Laughing so hard your face hurts.

3. A hot shower.

4. No queues at the supermarket.

5. Taking a drive on a pretty road.

6. Hearing your favourite song on the radio.

7. Lying in bed listening to the rain outside.

8. Hot towels fresh out of the dryer.

9. Chocolate milkshake ... (or vanilla ... or strawberry!)

10. A bubble bath.

11. Giggling.

12. A good conversation.

13. Finding a N500 note in your coat when you're broke.

14. Running through sprinklers.

15. Laughing for absolutely no reason at all.

16. Having someone tell you that you're beautiful.

17. Accidentally overhearing someone say something nice about you.

18. Waking up and realising you still have a few hours left to sleep.

19. Making new friends or spending time with old ones.

20. Having someone play with your hair.

21. Sweet dreams.

22. Making eye contact with a cute stranger.

23. Holding hands with someone you care about.

24. Running into an old friend and realising that some things (good or
bad) never change.

25. Watching the expression on someone's face as they open a
much-desired present from you.

26. Getting out of bed every morning and being grateful for another
beautiful day.

27. Knowing that somebody misses you.

28. Getting a hug from someone you care about deeply.

29. Knowing you've done the right thing, no matter what other people think